The Good, The Bad, and The Lovely Truth About Aging
I can’t believe my youngest son will turn 30 years old this month. It really does seem like yesterday when he was just a sweet little boy who took afternoon naps and ran through the back yard sprinklers shrieking with delight. That little boy is now a grown man with a family of his own. Wow. Where has the time gone?
Justin turning thirty means I will be turning sixty very soon. I’ve been rolling that number around in my mind for weeks now…the BIG six zero.
My fifties have been incredible. I felt like I had finally arrived! I found Jesus and experienced true freedom for the first time. I married again, this time forever. My children found their way in life and have families of their own. I quit my full-time job, moved to Hawaii for three years, and discovered my love for writing. My fifties have been some of my best years, and yet, growing older definitely has its downfalls. Just last weekend I was visiting with a dear friend, and as we were chatting, I looked down and for the first time noticed a few age spots on my hands. When I showed her, she immediately held up her hand showing me hers, too. We both laughed and it felt good knowing I wasn’t alone—this aging thing happens to all of us.
Like weeds in a flower bed, new signs of aging seem to pop up every day. My hair is gray, I have arthritis in my thumb, and the lines on my face continue to spread and deepen, revealing past worries of a lifetime. It can be humbling and a little rough, but here’s the thing, with age comes wisdom, and for that I am truly thankful.
I really do appreciate the little things in life now more than ever. My love and grace for others flows in abundance, it takes a lot to rattle me these days. As I’ve gotten older, I crave simplicity—less stuff, more experiences. My heart is full of gratitude for simple pleasures like my first cup of coffee in the morning, an evening walk, and time spent with loved ones.
More and more I realize life is not so much about things and possessions as it is about the people you love, which brings me to my favorite part about this season in life: grandchildren. We’ve got a whole team of them—three with more on the way!
My heart was not prepared for the joy these little ones bring. Whenever I’m with them, I feel a rush of love so strong I’m afraid my heart might explode. It’s the kind of love that leaves a lump in your throat, stars in your eyes, and butterflies fluttering in your heart. They are my inspiration, and my reason for taking extra good care of myself. I want to be an example for them. I want to have the energy to show up for them however they need me to. They are my hope for the future and a sweet reminder that we still have so much to look forward to.
I find myself smiling as I’m cleaning the floors and stumble upon a red plastic golf ball sticking out from underneath the refrigerator—it’s the one Miah and Ledger hit with their play plastic golf clubs. And I’m forever pulling little treasures out from in-between the couch cushions— an empty wrapper, an occasional popsicle stick, or the “R” from the alphabet game that we’ve been looking for since last summer. Our bookshelf holds dozens of children’s books that we’ve read over and over to our grandchildren when they come to visit. When I’m on my treadmill, my eyes always drift over to the rainbow and unicorn hanging on the wall that Everly and Miah painted last October when they stayed with us for a week. And every time I open up the spare room closet, Ledger’s toys come tumbling out and I can’t help but laugh because there’s so many of them.
Everything about our grandchildren brings out the best in me—I’m not worried about their messes, I’m not in a hurry, and I will play make believe games and build towering buildings and take five walks a day if that’s what they want to do. It’s a love and joy I’ve never experienced before. I smile just thinking about them.
Watching your children with their own families is a full circle miracle and blessing from God. When you have children of your own, you want their lives to be better than yours; that goes double for grandchildren.
All that to say, yes, in some ways aging can be tough but I wouldn’t go back and I wouldn’t change a single thing even if I could.
As I reflect on my life, I am humbled by how good God is and how richly He has blessed our family. I’m not sure what He has planned in the years to come, but I trust Him completely. I think of all we’ve been through and find myself looking forward to this next season of life. I’m settled into a nice, easy pace where the days go quickly but the moments last forever. I praise God so much for that!